I think of all the times I’ve tried to hold your haunting

Think I’ve spent a little too much time holding onto your haunting

The best of you in the worst of me

Made the worst of we

This inspired me today.

"When our noses are no longer pressed up against the tapestry, freed from preoccupation with the individual threads and the knots, the pattern can be seen, and the very particular purpose that has always been there in the fabric of one small life is revealed. And we realize that it all comes down to this: all the struggles and challenges, all the blessings and benefits have all been in the service of the task that is ours.

And the question changes. Once it was- what is my purpose? Now it becomes- how will I live the one word I have taken life to say? How will I deepen the one healing I have taken life to find and embody? How will I embody this so it may help alleviate suffering in myself, others and the world?"

-Oriah, Mountain Dreamer

This ham

can't wait to be back in that Eurozone! Giant cured meats here I come!

I'M NOT TIRED!!! Oh holy crap I am NOT! TIRED!!! 

IRON LEVELS SUCK IT!
I've slept my way though SO many days and now I am AWAKE and Uncertain and OVERWHELMED and READY TO PAAAARRRTAAAAY WITH THE BEST OF THEMMMMMM!


I feel like I imagine Lance Armstrong did after probably blood doping!
Like Columbus when he discovered the wrong continent!
Like a 5 year old on Christmas morning!
A middle schooler trying energy drinks for the first time!
The Mariners getting their first home run after a decade of walks!
Like the first time I cleared the high jump bar at 4'4!

Like I am going to be in one of my dearest friend's wedding and dance wild with other dear friends and hop on the plane to germany with a dear friend the next day!

Queen size.

I've haven't gotten over my fear of sleeping in marriage beds. The mattress continent to the left still scares me. I only sleep on the wife's side, because anything further would feel indelicate. I want to treat their sex as sacred. I have been awoken by a golden retriever licking my ear. Fat cat flopped on my face with a paw to the jugular and by the 4th night I didn't even scream. After 3 years sleeping in the same room and 9 months in this queen bed, Liz mostly refuses to cuddle with me but we've had our pillow chats and she amuses my insomnia with semi-conscious mutterings.

I just don't know what to do with all that extra space, you know?

My childhood loft is perched upstairs with the names of first crushes scratched into the rails.

I felt protected by those boards. A sleeping ship on the monster's high seas. Used the space well-- me, Spot, BunBun and KeeKee, Crayola Bear, Kissybears and Ladybug.

The perfect height for hug-mug-mug and a reading nook below.

I am a hugging little kicker. I have a sleeping affinity for the diagonal, the criss-cross, the slant-ways. I steal the sheets and leave the covers, tasting the midnight air for better dreams.

fwends

Carmen is like a cat. I am like a horse. We get along swell! She's always got my back, and to carry her is never a burden.