(i'll probably never write that letter)
went to the extreme of never being right or
well whatever time brings i'll fight
until it fits squarely into my non-existent watch
lost a year in the pretense of self reflection
its amazing that any change could occur
under such bricked off circumstances
but we all took expensive chances
when we came to this pre-adulthood
haven for the sober worldchangers of awkward post-adolescence
lost my femininity in an unfavorable ratio
one of the lucky but does that make it right
does that make me any different
than any of these other beauties
wasting their time on too few boys who were never worthy
of any time (gods hours or their own)
of day in and day out
we have gone through these credits
and soon we'll have debt
but as long as it resides
in the unforseen future of our pretend tomorrows
we can aspire to engage cultur(each other)
with rings that sound bells of churches that
collect money to pay the rent of their own
sanctuaries so that next year
the youth program can have that
fancy new laser light
that will surely lead them all to Christ
and blind their eyes in the process
of a spiritual encounter(feit)
that keeps them on the mountain top
and out of trouble
away from the trenches of real life
where adults fight demons
of childhood memories never
dealt with because they were too busy
trying to get into college
where things would make
¢ent$ for them
but never did
because no one ever told them
that it was going to go by so fast
and that the carpet of education
that veiled the truth of "real life"
would be pulled out from their too-confident feet
"i-paid-for-these-shoes-with-my-own-money" strides
leaving them in a heap of unpaid bills
stacked haphazardly skewed
like the long-held dreams
of book learned success
that never spelled the truth of what it is
to live.
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