Laura Veirs

Don't recognise my face
Everybody knows your game
Feel like I’m running in place
Everything's changed, everything's changed
I'm gonna move to the country
She's gonna move
So I can see the stars
Heavenly stars, the heavenly stars, the heavenly stars

She's gonna move
Heavenly stars, the heavenly stars, the heavenly stars

I dove into the night
Bathed in the beautiful blue light
Sheltered inside a bat cave
Me and my baby had a conversation
Gonna move to the country
She's gonna move
So I can see the stars
Heavenly stars, the heavenly stars, the heavenly stars

I'm gonna move to the country
She's gonna move
So I can see the stars
Heavenly stars, the heavenly stars, the heavenly stars...

I love Anastasia and Thanksgiving.

Heart don't fail me now

Courage don't desert me

Don't turn back now that we're here

People always say

Life is full of choices

No one ever mentions fear

or how a road can seem so seems long

or how the world can seems so vast

courage see me through

heart i trust in you

on this journey to the past

Somewhere down this road

I know someone's waiting

Years of dreams just can't be wrong

Arms will open wide

I'll be safe and wanted

Finally home where I belong

well starting here my life begins

starting now, im learning fast

courage see me through

heart I trust in you

On this journey to the past

Heart don't fail me now

courage don't desert me

Home, love, family

There was once a time

I must've had them too

Home, love, family

I will never be complete until I find you

One step at a time

One hope then another

Who knows where this road may go

Back to who I was

Onto find my future

Things my heart still needs to know

Yes, let this be a sign

Let this road be mine

Let it lead me to my past

courage see me through

heart I trust in you

And bring me home

At Last

L'inno di mameli

Nothing in me can quite describe what I would give to be back in these abandoned buildings

Looking out on my old school and my favorite snowless marble mountains

Exploring the cracks of this 40 person hill town

wondering what is behind this door

petting this horse and feeling so. so. happy.

surrender me.

I don’t know how to do this. This weakness. I don’t know how not to struggle. Flail. When even giving up is within my control, when even the choice to submit is an act of my own will. My fingers tap out the familiar rhythms. Each beat a reminder of security. Nails on fingerprints. Constantly touching base. Rooted in my own muscular memory, I play out the dissonant melody of my fears on a palm-sized piano with 4 keys and a thumb.

I just don’t know how to finish the song.

4321123443211234 why doesn’t this code mean anything? There are times when it feels like the subatomic meaning of life. Everything hinges on this pattern continuing and I have to be the one to keep it going foreverandever amen.

I can’t let go of the rope. We’ve reached the end of the beginning and I am still holding on for dear (life? Is this really living?!) Callused hands feet dangling arms stretched ground looking soft and all the leaves in the fall reaching out to catch my iniquities.

What will happen when my muscles betray me? When these tendons refuse to cooperate with the will of my nervous determination? When my fingers stop drumming will I be able to feel my heart beat again?

And just like that, the fall began. It is very, very far.

passive: frustration in hibernation.

I am frustrated that my secrets cannot be tokenized.

wearied by my abundance of honesty

that will never allow for an anonymous postcard.

why do I spend my days fighting nature?

10 four year olds is the most beautiful scene that dead leaves can buy.

and I see the boy i love unreasonably suffer through the fall

without my tree arms being able to catch him.

did I forget that autumn is the skipping season?

the time for pumpkin apple cider and long long thoughts.

forget truth

Just get me back to the wonder of fresh death

to where the leaves are swept away!

(that i might sit in them and rest.)

God put a smile upon my face.

Slowly but surely, I am making peace with the color yellow.

Yellow was the color of that first house. The house with the creeping yellow fire, which the babysitter started and I was frightened by. Yellow was the relative color of Spaghetti-o's-- a staple of my toddlerhood when she was gone and I was hungry. Yellow was the apple juice that rotted my baby teeth out and made me a cute but fanged vampire. Yellow was the color of the sky in Nebraska before a tornado touched down, and the way my scar looked after surgery. Yellow is having to pee in a cup and the residual snot from a lingering cold. It is the way my bruises fade and the mold on my arm after I got my first cast sawed off. The yellow pills left a three month gap in my 8th grade memory, and made falling asleep a nightmare. Yellow is the cliche Coldplay song that always gets stuck in my head, and the color of Maria Luisa's teeth. Yellow snow is the kind you can't eat, and yellow #6 warns of the worst banana flavoring you have ever tasted in a saltwater taffy. Yellow is cowboy for cowardice, and the dirty version of white. The painful combination of "yell" and "ow!" Yellow is not mellow. Yucky Yucky Jello.

But then again, yellow is the color my best friend can't tell apart from orange, and the friendliest rooms in our house. Yellow is proof that the sun is shining; the warmth of my favorite liqueur, the sour face of eating a lemon. It is the golden hue through which I filter my evening memories, and edible daffodil teacups in Willie Wonka's chocolate factory. It is so many of those things he knows about me and the color of leaves in my birthday month. Yellow is hay on a farm and the blonde in my sister's hair. Yellow is my default color for drawing stars, and a hint of saffron in refugee rice.

Yellow is hello. Hello. Hello.

spiders, heights and very small spaces.

Besides getting caught with my zipper down, I suppose I really only have two main fears.

The first is that I will never be known.

The second is that I am known already.

please do not use this against me.