Then, one night, when it was once more spring cleaning time, the stars blew open the nursery windows.

We all found her shadow rolled up in a drawer

and little Tink was dying there so soft against the roar

Idobelieveinfairies

cause they take me where I am

first star to the right then straight on to the lamb

Iwontgrowup

Tiger speaks her child tongue

the bow is drawn tight and it quivers what she's sung

you'vejustshotaWendybird

took her wings and fled

she could have told you stories but you silenced her instead

I've tried to love you right but now I understand;

You're still just Peter Pan

flying back to Neverland.

hadda yo do that ish?

Morning happened today. Real morning-- the kind with cheery birds and flowers and ohmygod is that sunlight!? Just when I was getting used to all that rain, just when I imagined I could endure eternal start at 4pm darkness, the clocks leaped forward and I guess it turned spring. Did you know that in Arizona they don't have daylight savings? That the moon on Saturday night was the brightest it had been in 19 years? That Iceland ranks one of the happiest places on earth? That Qatar with it's oil money and eternal heat is joyless?

I know there has to be a correlation somewhere. My blood is encoded with 1/4 of known DNA and that the rest is a mystery of ethnic potential that piques the curiosity of everyone but myself. Yes, I am Tunisian. Yes I am Mexican. Yes I am American. Yes I am Irish. Yes I am tired of not knowing because it seems like they still care.

But maybe if I knew where I was from, I would know how happy I am supposed to be. Is that how it works, i guess? WhateverIdontknow.

So I went out and pulled weeds in the dirt. I am brown brown brown like mud and I am celebrating SPRRRIIIIINNNGGGGG!!!

2 years later and my face is still numb...

my best closed-mouth smiles are inherently downturned.

try as i might, the corners of these lips will not be raised.

but everyone knows i'm happy.

its just a muscle thing

i really am smiling.

:)

see?